According to Dr. Gottman, even if you have a stable and happy marriage, chances are you might be asking yourself, “Is that all there is?” (Gottman 260). He goes on to say that “marriage isn’t just about raising kids, splitting chores, and making love. It can also have a spiritual dimension that has to do with creating an inner life together” (Gottman 260). In other words, you are able to create your own family culture with your own traditions, rituals, and myths. You work together to have this shared meaning. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree on everything, but it does mean that you mesh ideas and dreams to create a culture within your family that can grow and develop over the years.
Dr. Gottman shares four “critical mainstays of shared meaning” that if built together by couples, they can “enrich their relationship and family life” (Gottman 263). To those four pillars of shared meaning, I would also like to add this counsel from prophets and apostles of the Lord Jesus Christ as found in the document, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”:
PILLAR ONE: RITUALS OF CONNECTION
PILLAR TWO: SUPPORT FOR EACH OTHER'S ROLES
PILLAR THREE: SHARED GOALS
PILLAR FOUR: SHARED VALUES AND SYMBOLS
After studying these four pillars and Dr. Gottman’s seven principles of marriage, I can say with 100% honesty that it has made a huge difference in how I approach my marriage and in the relationship that Mark and I have together. I am grateful for him and for the opportunity I have to be married to him, not only for this earth life, but throughout all eternity.
"Family: A Proclamation to the World." (1995, November). Ensign, 25, p. 102.
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2018). The seven principles for making marriage work. London: Seven Dials an imprint of Orion Publishing Group Ltd.
WHY ETERNAL FAMILIES?
This page is dedicated to sharing information regarding God's plan for families, how we can strengthen our family relationships, and how the Savior can heal even the most broken of hearts.