Because of the law of Chastity, I feel that culturally, we have a problem talking about healthy sexual relationships. I also feel that sometimes our kids get the idea that sex is bad, even though it is not. Spencer W. Kimball (1895-1985), who is a prophet and served as President of the Church from 1973-1985 said this regarding the sanctity and importance of sexuality: “It is the destiny of men and women to join together to make eternal family units. In the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love” (Intimacy 1982).
A FEW THINGS I WANT YOU TO KNOW:
Physical and sexual intimacy are important parts of a marriage relationship, but they can also be the source of disagreements if you are not open in your communication together as a couple. Talk to your spouse. Let him/her know how you are feeling. In the book, “Becoming One: Intimacy in Marriage” we learn that married couples “should strive to communicate openly and learn to satisfy each other both emotionally and sexually” (Stahmann et al 2004). That conversation was hard (and is sometimes still hard) for me to have. I came into my marriage filled with inhibition about sex because of the idea that I had that sex was not good. It has taken years for me to get to the point where I am comfortable talking openly about it with your dad and I don’t want that for you. I want to help you start off on the right foot, so don’t be afraid to talk about sex with your spouse! It’s a good thing!
Learn what you can about sex from appropriate sources. There are so many helpful books that have been written with young Latter-day Saint couples in mind. S.E. Brotherson wrote, “A failure to understand your own body, your partner’s responses, and the essential ingredients of a healthy sexual relationship quickly becomes a failure to find sexual satisfaction as a married couple” (Brotherson 2003). Before you get married, I plan on giving you the book I mentioned in the last point, “Becoming One: Intimacy in Marriage”. I wish I would have had it as a resource before I got married. It will be very helpful as you begin this new stage in your life. I also want you to know that you can always come to me with any questions you may have. I’m not an expert, but I will do my best to give you an answer or help you find an answer.
I feel like Victor Cline summed it up best when he said, “…sex should be a celebration. It comes from God. He created our sexual appetites and natures. He has ordained us to make love both physically and spiritually. He is pleased when He sees us bonded together sexually, in love, for this is the plan of creation” (Cline 39). Marriage is a way for us to learn how to become like God and as we seek for direction and guidance from the Holy Ghost, we will be able to know how to navigate miscommunications and problems as they arise. Sister Wendy Nelson said, “For true marital intimacy, the Holy Ghost needs to be involved…anything that invites the Spirit into your life, and into the life of your spouse and your marriage, will increase your ability to experience marital intimacy” (Nelson 2017).
Intimacy in Marriage and The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball , 311
Nelson, W. W. (2017, January). Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults. Brigham Young University. Provo.
Stahmann, R. F., Young, W. R., & Grover, J. G. (2004). Becoming one: intimacy in marriage. American Fork, UT: Covenant Communications.
WHY ETERNAL FAMILIES?
This page is dedicated to sharing information regarding God's plan for families, how we can strengthen our family relationships, and how the Savior can heal even the most broken of hearts.