Category: I Believe

Facing the Crucibles

7/16/2019

CRUCIBLE: "a furnace-like vessel that endures intense heat that refines and transfigures raw materials into a new, stronger substance...[It] purges away impurities and unifies elements into an entirely new final product" (Hawkins et al 237).

We can think of a crucible as a "metaphor for life-changing challenges, adversities, and losses that have a refining effect on a person or an entire family" (Hawkins et al 237).

There have been many crucibles in my life and I'm sure there will be many more, but for today I want to focus on one that affected our entire family.

In August 2011, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer. To say we were surprised would be a huge understatement. It was a phone call that changed our family's lives forever and a crucible that "purged away impurities and [unified us] into an entirely new final product."

My family in September 2011- shortly before I began chemotherapy

Perspective

One of the things that helped our family face this challenging time was keeping an eternal perspective in mind. This was easier said than done, especially considering the fact that my children were so young at the time. "Perspective is our frame of reference, our beginning assumptions, our way of seeing, or our way of thinking" (Hawkins et al 238). It took a lot of work to maintain an eternal perspective while going through this crucible, but I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives. It was the anchor we held on to and the biggest tool in helping us maintain an healthy, eternal perspective. We knew that this moment of adversity, as hard as it was, had a purpose and, if we stayed close to the Savior, He would help us come out the other side stronger.

"The [Family] proclamation teaches that the cumulative purpose of all experiences in this life is to help us 'progress toward perfection' (para 3) and realize our 'destiny as heirs of eternal life'. Having faith in God and in His 'divine plan of happiness' (para 3) is the first principle of a perspective that recognizes meaning and growth as coming from life's crucibles" (Hawkins et al 238).

It took being diagnosed with cancer to really find my testimony of God's divine plan of happiness. I was terrified that the cancer would win and that I would have to leave my young family for a season. I believed that we would see each other again because of the Savior and the temple covenants that Mark and I had made together in His name, but this was an opportunity for me to come to know that plan and recognize the power that comes from keeping covenants.

I remember pleading with my Heavenly Father to please allow me to stay here with my kids and not let the cancer win. This was my prayer for most of the beginning stages of treatment. Then, the Lord blessed me with a few sacred, personal experiences in which I learned that it did not matter if I lived or died after fighting that cancer. What mattered is that I needed to let go of my will and align it with His. I needed to recognize that there was a bigger picture. Bigger than being here for birthdays, graduations, weddings, and grand kids. It was about trusting in the Savior and believing that His sacrifice and suffering meant something.

"Our understanding of the Atonement is hardly a shield against sorrow; rather, it is a rich source of strength to deal productively with the disappointments and heartbreaks that form the deliberate fabric of mortal life. The gospel helps us to heal our pain, not necessarily to prevent it" -Elder Bruce C. Hafen (Hawkins et al 239).

The Atonement of our Savior helped me to heal my pain, calm my fears, and strengthen me and my family to endure the months of treatments, surgeries, and recovery, both physical and mental. It was the key to facing our crucible and allowing it to change us for the better.

The Savior is the Key

As this semester is drawing to an end and I write this concluding post for my project, I hope that you have enjoyed being on this journey with me.

I have learned so much about the Eternal Family over the last 13 weeks. There have been things that I have questioned, things I have not understood, and things that have left me feeling sorrow for those who do not have the gospel of Jesus Christ in their lives because the ONE thing that has stood out above all the rest is that He is the key to EVERYTHING.

"Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities" (Family para 7).

I don't know where my family would be without the Savior and His everlasting gospel in our lives. Having His gospel in our lives helps us to forgive one another, to be patient with one another, and to remember that it is through Him that we will be able to live together forever.

Works Cited:

"Family: A Proclamation to the World." (1995, November). Ensign, 25, p. 102.

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Repentance and Forgiveness in Family Life

7/2/2019

If there is one thing I have learned in my year of parenting, it's that there is a great need for everyone in the family, parents included, to understand the principles of repentance, forgiveness, and saying "I'm sorry." We strive to teach our children these principles, but how often do we really apply them to ourselves when we make parenting mistakes?

My hope with this post is to explain how these principles of repentance and forgiveness can work miracles in our families. I hope to also touch on how the act of prayer can sanctify our relationships with each other and help us in the processes of repentance and forgiveness.

Why are Repentance and Forgiveness so Important?

By now, after reading through my posts in this series, I hope you have recognized how connected the family is with religion and God. I also hope that I have been able to show that social scientists are recognizing the importance of the "ideal family setting" and doctrines that are explained in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World". One of the things the Family Proclamation states is that "successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities" (The Family para 7).

"Repentance and forgiveness have historically been regarded by social scientists as religious issues only. However, since the 1990s, repentance and forgiveness have become increasingly prominent in professional literature. Mental health experts acknowledge that it is impossible to address emotional and physical well-being without considering the relevance of repentance and forgiveness" (Hawkins et al 202).

Repentance and forgiveness go hand in hand and they are important in our families because they are gospel principles set forth by the Lord Himself. "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ" (The Family para 7). The Lord's Atonement can not only heal us from wounds inflicted upon us by our sins or illnesses, but it can also heal our wounds that are caused from broken family relationships through the principles of repentance and forgiveness.

Repentance

Repentance is a process of change and change is necessary for us to unlock our full potential as sons and daughters of God. "Elder Maxwell taught that repentance is 'a Greek word which means a change of mind, such as changing one's view of himself, God, the universe, life, others, and so on'. In attempting to repent, said Elder Maxwell, 'we are actually progressing toward what Paul called the mind of Christ'" (Hawkins et al 204).

I want to compare a social science view of an "apology" or repentance with the process of repentance as it is outlined in gospel context.

As you can see, social science and religion are on the same page on how to apologize and change (in other words, repent) when mistakes have been made, especially when those mistakes involve someone else's feelings.

But it's not all about repentance. Repentance and forgiveness go hand in hand, so let's move on to forgiveness...what it means and why it's important in family life.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be a hard pill to swallow, especially when it involves forgiving someone who has hurt you physically, emotionally, mentally, or sexually. It's hard work and it takes time. It's also something that we need to use our agency to do. No one can force us to forgive someone, but it we do the hard work and have patience in the process, forgiveness can be a freeing experience. Forgiveness is "a voluntary act that gives meaning to the wound and frees the injured person from the ills of bitterness and resentment" (Hawkins et al 205).

How does the process of forgiveness work and how do you know if you have truly forgiven someone for hurt they have caused you? Social science has examined different models of the process of forgiveness, but a 5-step process of forgiveness highlighted by E. Worthington in the book Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving is the model of forgiveness that my textbook chose, so that is what I will be highlighting in this post today.

Although "scholars do not know exactly how forgiveness takes place, [they can see that] when genuine forgiveness is achieved, thoughts, emotions, motivations, and behaviors are changed" (Hawkins et al 206).

How does this process of forgiveness relate to families? Do we need to forgive family members? 100% yes is the answer to that question.

Whether it's a small offense or a large offense, forgiveness is a huge part of success in family life. I'm not saying that forgiveness comes easy, especially when it is an offense that involves abuse. But it is possible when we rely on the strength that comes through the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ.

"The most meaningful and growth-promoting repentance and forgiveness require a relationship with the Lord--the willingness and humility to be taught by the Spirit" (Hawkins et al 208). The Savior can heal any hurt, any offense to the heart, and any rift in family relationships, even when one of the parties is not willing to admit fault or go through the repentance/forgiveness process.

"All victims need to be relieved of the burden of resentment...One way to conceptualize the one-way, or unilateral, forgiveness process is to repent on behalf of the offender. [This does not imply] that the victim is taking the burden of repentance away from the offender. That is not possible--the responsibility will forever remain with the offender.

"On behalf of" means that the victim can accomplish for him or herself what might be accomplished if the offender were to sincerely repent. The victim can experience the validation, freedom, and healing that come with apology and contrition even though the offender is not remorseful or is not available" (Hawkins et al 209).

Prayer Works

Before I close this post, I want to touch on the power of prayer and how it can be used to sanctify family relationships and complete the repentance forgiveness processes.

"When people perceive something as sacred, it changes the way they treat it" (Hawkins et al 196). Through prayer, repentance, and forgiveness we can view our family relationships as sacred which, in turn, changes the way we treat those relationships. As we include God as an active member in our family relationships, we increase our desire to make those relationships work, and also increase our protection against Satan who does not want our family relationships to work.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "When you don't feel like praying, that's when you need to pray the most?" It may seem cliche, but it's true. Prayer is a powerful tool that can soften heart and de-escalate tense situations. It's hard to yell at someone when you are kneeling in prayer with them. I love this quote from President Ezra T. Benson about how prayer can strengthen our families:

(Benson para 15)

Are you sensing a pattern here? In all of these posts I have written, what is the one thing that connects each of them together?

"Light of the World" photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

Guys...it's all about the Savior. He provided the way for us to repent, to forgive, to heal. It is through Him that we are able to be with our families forever and it is also through Him that our earthly familial experiences can be strengthened and sanctified. I am so grateful for my testimony of the Savior and for the choices I have made to make Him the center of my life. It has made all the difference in my relationships as it has helped me know when to apologize, repent, and forgive.

Works Cited:

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Love, Limits, and Latitude: Parenting Tools that Make a Difference

6/24/2019

I remember life with 4 littles under the age of 10. Some days it was definitely a game of "Survival of the Fittest" and usually, that was not me. Between temper tantrums (from the kids AND from me), sibling arguments, battles of will, and living in a constant state of piles of stuff strewn about the house, most days I went to bed feeling defeated. This was not how I imagined motherhood.

Yikes. Parenthood is not for the weak. It takes a huge amount of sacrifice, patience, love, more patience, and humility to shape and mold these little blessings into responsible, well-adjusted, and kind-hearted human beings.

I wish that I knew back then what I know now. After studying parenthood and families over the last two years, I have come to see things that I would like to have done better as a mother. Even though I feel that my kiddos have turned out alright, I am definitely not proud of some of the parenting moments I had when they were younger. My hope with this post is that I can share some insights that may help other parents recognize areas in which they could improve their parenting as I have recognized ways in which I can (and must) improve mine. Even though my kids are not little anymore, I can still make adjustments/improvements in how I parent them as I strive to become more like my Heavenly Parents.

Making Adjustments

Let me begin with this disclaimer. Every child is different. What works to parent one child may not work to parent another. "Whatever the nature and disposition of a given child, wise parents work to adjust, relate to, and rear each child in a manner that is somewhat tempered to individual needs as parents and children learn from each other" (Hawkins et al 104). I love what that statement says. Parenting children is not something that is a "one size fits all" kind of thing. Parents must be humble enough to adjust how they parent to adapt to each of their children and recognize that, as a parent, you can learn from your child.

Rearing Children in Love and Righteousness

In "The Family" A Proclamation to the World", parents are instructed to "rear their children in love and righteousness" (The Family para 6). The very first word of instruction given to us from the Lord is that we parent with love. "Righteous parenting emphasizes charity, gentleness, kindness, long-suffering, persuasion, and appropriate discipline in a warm and nurturing relationship" (Hawkins et al 105).

What are you envisioning the role of parenting that I am describing right now? Are you seeing a parent who is just lovey-dovey all the time and who allows their children to walk all over them? That is not what the Lord means when He admonishes us to parent with love, charity, gentleness, and kindness.

Think about how God parents His children. Is He long-suffering with us? Does He persuade us to make good choices while allowing us to suffer the natural consequences of our actions (AKA discipline)? Does God parent with charity, gentleness, and kindness? The God I know does and following His parenting model is what I am striving to do.

I'm not perfect at parenting like God does, nor will I ever be in this life, but that's okay. God understands that and blesses me with opportunities to improve, as I choose to do so.

Research suggests and the Lord's prophets agree that "warm and responsive parenting tends to promote lasting bonds between parents and children...specifically, research has documented that children are less aggressive and more sociable and empathetic if they have parents...who are more loving, patient, playful, responsive, and sympathetic to children's feelings and needs" (Hawkins et al 108).

I feel it goes back to the "golden rule" of treating others as you would want to be treated. When I look back on things I have said to my children in moments of anger, I cringe. I would never want someone to speak to me in the way that I have spoken to them at times. Your children will respect you more and be more inclined to be obedient when they feel you respect them and hold them as a high priority in your life.

Hawkins et al 108

Setting Limits with Room for Compromise

Helping children learn how to regulate their behaviors using limits and not coercion is one of the greatest challenges parents face. "In all cases, discipline should be motivated by a sincere interest in teaching children correct principles rather than merely to exert control, exercise dominion, or vent anger" (Hawkins et al 109).

When we set limits for our children, we are essentially creating a safety net. We don't want them to not walk on the tightrope and learn how to do hard things, but we do want them to have a safety net to catch them when they fall.

Our Heavenly Father has set limits for us--in other words, He has given us commandments to follow. When we follow those commandments, we are allowing the safety net to catch us when we fall. When we disregard the commandments, it's like walking the tightrope with nothing beneath us, flirting with the danger of the situation.

"Setting limits and following through with pre-established consequences when rules are violated is one way that parents can help children learn to be self-regulating" (Hawkins et al 109).

Again, this statement makes me think of how our Heavenly Father parents us. When we violate the rules/commandments/limits He has set, there are pre-established consequences that will come into the equation. Although it is true that we have our agency to choose as we would like, we cannot choose the consequences of our actions. This is something that should be practiced in regard to setting limits for your children. Try having pre-established consequences for situations that come up regularly such as: not cleaning their room or completing other chores when asked, sneaking out, missing curfew, etc. I realize that it is not possible to come up with a pre-established consequence for everything because you can't possibly imagine every scenario that will come up, but by enforcing the consequences in these situations, it won't come as a surprise when you have to enforce consequences for other slip-ups.

Just because you have to enforce consequences when the limit barrier has been breached, does not mean that you have to do it in a menacing or contentious manner.

"When consequences need to be enforced, the scriptures teach the principle of 'showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved' (D&C 121:43). When the child has been corrected in a calm, controlled manner, that same Spirit that prompted such correction can create a sense of compassion, charity, and forgiveness toward the child" (Hawkins et al 110).

Reproving a child in a calm manner is SO much easier said than done. I have definitely not perfected the art of it yet. That is why the information I am learning in this class has been so valuable to me!

Here are some ways that you can reprove/correct and show that increase of love afterwards:

*Physical Affection: "Maybe you can sit here on my lap for a while until you feel like playing nicely with your sister."

*Affirming Verbal Statements: "Although I am disappointed that you did not obey, I love you very much."

*Humor to Break up the Tension: "Okay, enough of this serious stuff. Time for a hug!"

*A Change in Activity: "Will you be my helper in the kitchen? I need a junior chef to help me whip up some cornbread."

*Expressing Confidence in the Child: "I know it's been a hard day. We all make mistakes. I know you will do better next time."

Latitude: Making Choices Within the Limits

Here is where we really get to see what our kids are made of and how they can shine in the choices that they make. "Children benefit from being given choices and appropriate levels of latitude to make their own decisions in a variety of domains" (Hawkins et al 112).

I also feel that not only do the children benefit from being given choices, but the parents benefit as well. You want your kids to learn how to make responsible decisions, right? I definitely do, and I want to be confident in their abilities to make wise decisions BEFORE they leave the safety nest of our home. Giving your children appropriate levels of latitude to make their own decisions is how you accomplish this. Elder M. Russell Ballard taught:

"Helping children learn how to make decisions requires that parents give them a measure of autonomy, dependent on the age and maturity of the child and the situation at hand. Parents need to give children choices and should be prepared to appropriately adjust some rules, thus preparing children for real-world situations" (Hawkins et al 109).

Once again, I feel it comes down to respect and respect is a two-way street. Yes, you are the parent, but that does not mean that you should not respect your children and their agency. Our Heavenly Father is the perfect example of showing respect to His children by giving us appropriate levels of latitude in which we can exercise our agency.

I'm not going to lie, sometimes I am terrified to let my kids use their agency. What if they make horrible choices that they will carry with them for years? What if those choices lead to other choices that ultimately lead them away from the Savior and His gospel? I have done a lot of soul searching about this because I want my kids to know that, at the end of the day, my love for them is stronger than any disappointment I may have from choices they have made and that I am here to support them in the decisions they feel are right for their lives. I love the counsel that Elder Robert D. Hales has given us:

This advice is like gold to me right now as I am in the midst of "teenagerhood" at our house and I am learning every day. I can tell you that I have seen a difference in my kids when I am striving to use the Lord's way of love and acceptance rather than Satan's way of force and coercion.

Conclusion

The deeper I get into my studies of families and parenting, the more I am convinced that the doctrine expressed in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" is the ideal I want to strive for. Research supports it, which is great, but in all honesty, the only support I need is what I can see. I can see that following the guiding doctrine from prophets and apostles has made a difference in my families lives. I know that I am only 20 years into this parenting gig and I have an extremely long way to go. I also realize that there may be times when the doctrines presented in The Family Proclamation will be stretched thin within my own family and I will have to rely on what I have learned about loving and supporting my posterity as God and Christ love and support them.

But I also know that as I continue to strengthen my own testimony of Jesus Christ and His everlasting gospel, I will have the tools I need to continue to face the challenges that surface and that my family will be blessed because of my willingness to look unto the Savior and His teachings, no matter what.

The Mamas and the Papas

6/16/2019

The stage has been set for today's post. I have talked about why eternal families are important, how families can be saved by temple covenants, why dating is an important part of the marriage process, and last week, I talked about marital sexuality.

Today, I want to dive into the roles of mothers and fathers, why they are each an important part in a child's life, what their different divine roles are, and how they can work together to create an environment to fulfill their "sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness" (The Family para 6).

As always, the information I am sharing is what would be an ideal setting, but as you and I are both know, sometimes the "ideal setting" is not possible so you have to do the best with what you have. I am a firm believer that if you do your best to achieve the ideal setting that God has set forth, then through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all of those areas of shortcomings will be made up for.

Mother Dearest

This picture is an accurate betrayal of how motherhood looks for me most days. I'm bracing myself against the wind, trying to cling to all my little chickadees in hopes that they don't get carried off in the storms of life.

And, for the record, most of the time, they probably don't think of me as "Mother Dearest". More likely it's "Mother Weirdest" or "Mother Get Out of My Face-ist". (I know, now I'm making words up. Time to move on.)

At any rate, I know that my calling as a mother is the most important thing I will ever do in my life. I don't know why God has blessed me with four incredible, brave, smart, and talented children, but He has and I am determined to not screw them up.

In "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" we learn about the divine roles that mothers and fathers have. The primary responsibility that mothers have is to nurture their children (The Family para 7). The word "nurture" means to "care for and encourage the growth or development of" (Google Dictionary). That's a lot. To care for and encourage the growth and development of another human being, or in my case, four human beings? How can an imperfect, impatient, and selfish person like me possibly raise four human beings who are kind, responsible, resilient, and ready to be an asset to the world instead of a detriment? I'll let you in on a secret I have learned in the nearly 20 years I have been responsible for these human beings... it's only through relying upon the Atonement of Jesus Christ and trusting in God's plan for me and my family that I am able to get up every morning, set my feet upon the floor, and know that even if it's a bad mothering day, everything is going to be okay.

Effective Mothering

Prophets have testified of "the significant influence of women as mothers" and "research studies exploring influences on children's development" support the testimony of the prophets (Hawkins et al 131). Bearing that influence in mind, how can mothers use this influence in their children's lives effectively? Let's start with the foundation: love.

Love: The Foundation of Effective Mothering

It all begins with the relationship a mother forms with her child from birth, even pre-birth as she sacrifices comfort, among other things, to carry her child.

"A mother's attentive love in this new relationship becomes the foundation by which all of the other tasks of mothering become effective" (Hawkins et al 132).

I cannot begin to describe to you the amount of love I have for each of my children. The idea that "it's a good thing they are cute" when they make less-than-desirable choices is true, but it's more than just that. I feel that it comes down to that love. It's more of "it's a good thing I love them" type of scenario.

Kids and parents alike will make less-than-desirable choices, but if you have a solid foundation of love, and focus on that love, you can take these difficult situations in stride. How do we, in reality, do this? It feels much easier said than done as you stand there staring at the entire container of powdered sugar spread across the length of your kitchen floor...

"Children seem to do best when mothers show love by communicating about and being aware of their activities and behaviors. Expressing love through listening, communicating, and monitoring enables a mother to be warm and supportive while setting and enforcing appropriate limits" (Hawkins, et al 133).

Let's look at each of these ways to express love in a little more detail:

Listening
The type of listening I am referring to is empathetic listening. "The goal of empathetic listening is to help another person feel understood and valued" (Hawkins et al 8). One very important lesson I have learned in my years as a parent is that, as a parent, I'm not always right. Sometimes, my kids are right and often times that is a hard pill to swallow. I have learned that listening to them, without jumping in to correct them, is extremely important in helping them feel understood and valued.

Communicating
"Communication is defined as 'the ability to bargain, problem-solve, and make decisions'...[it also] involves interacting with others in a way that consensus can be reached while respecting the rights of each individual" (Hawkins et al 8). Bargaining with a child? Doesn't that teach them to not respect me? No. What it teaches them is that you value their opinion and are willing to involve them in problem-solving and decision-making. Respect is a two-way street and when your child can feel that you respect them, you are teaching them how to respect you. By establishing a line of open and loving communication with your child, they will feel that they have a safe space with you and know they can come to you for "judgement-free" advice.

Monitoring
"Setting limits and following through with pre-established consequences when rules are violated is one way that parents can help children learn to be self-regulating" (Hawkins et al 109). By setting limits and consciously monitoring your children's behaviors/activities, you show them that you care about what is going on in their lives. You will probably get push back from your children, especially as they are in their teenage years. "Why do you need to know all the details?" "You're always in my business!" These are two phrases that might come from your teenagers mouth, but all will be well and, in the long run, they will recognize that they really did appreciate your monitoring habits as a parent.

"The careful monitoring of adolescents' whereabouts and behavior as well as encouragement to adhere to parental expectations is a form of limit-setting that can go far in reducing delinquent activity" (Hawkins et al 109 emphasis added).

The real key to all of these expressions of love is to do them in love and righteousness. Don't monitor your teenager because you want to control them, monitor them because you want to help them learn how to self-regulate. Don't let your pride tell you that you, as the parent, are always right. Listen to your child's opinions and encourage them to express them in a non-confrontational way. Communicate with your child as Christ communicated with those around Him: always encouraging them to be better while helping them understand the consequences of their actions.

Before we move on to the Papas and their divine roles and responsibilities, I want to leave you with one more quote about the Mamas...

(Hawkins, et al 131)

When you start to view motherhood as an opportunity for you to grow and learn along with helping your children grow and learn, it helps you be a more effective, kind, understanding, and loving mother. At least, that is what I have come to find out as I have adopted that perspective over the nearly 20 years of my experience as a mother.

Daddy Dearest

The daddy in our home loves to tease, make up new lyrics to songs, correct grammar, and, last but not least, loves his role as a father, and he is good at what he does. Just this morning we received an email from our son, Josh, who is serving a mission in Taiwan for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I want to share with you some thoughts he has about his dad...

"My dad taught me the importance of work. He taught me if I'm going to do something, then I need to do it right. I have definitely not followed that counsel perfectly, even sometimes here as a missionary, but I have been grateful many times for my dad's high expectations and hopes in me throughout my life. They have definitely helped me remember who I am and make changes to become more of the missionary I should be.

I hope this two year crash course with the Lord will have made me at least half of what He has made my dad by the time I'm done with it. Good thing I've got plenty of time to get there, since I'm not sure I'm even to a quarter yet, lol."

In "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", we learn that "by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families" (The Family para 7). That's a big responsibility, but I know that as father's turn to the Lord for guidance and follow five fundamental principles of fathering, they will not only meet this responsibility, but they will flourish in their roles as fathers.

Five Fundamental Principles of Fathering

Let's take a closer look at each of these fundamental principles of fathering:

PRESIDE
I feel that sometimes people mistake what the word "preside" means. It does not mean that the father gets the last word or that everyone needs to bow down to him and do what he commands. That is not what the family proclamation says. It says that "fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness" (The Family para 7). Again, we come back to the fundamental aspect of love. I feel that Ezra T. Benson said it best: "God established that fathers are to preside in the home. Fathers are to provide love, teach, and direct" (Hawkins et al 141).

PARTNER
"...another fundamental principle in fathering is to partner with others in raising a child, including the child, the child's mother, extended family members, and the larger community" (Hawkins et al 142). I love that God has blessed us with circles of people so we don't have to do this incredibly difficult job of parenting alone. We are meant to work together to provide for children. I also love that it mentions that first and foremost, a father is to partner with the child as he raises the child. This goes back to the 3 ways to express love that I wrote about in the mothering section and it takes a large dose of one thing...humility.

BE PRESENT
Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone whose attention was obviously not on the conversation you are having together? It's frustrating, isn't it? Now, put yourself in a child's place who wants to learn from his or her father, who wants to talk to and spend time with his or her father, but who can't because the father has chosen to not be present.
"A fundamental principle of fathering...is to be present in a child's life and consciousness, to be available and aware of a child's needs such that he or she develops in an atmosphere of security and love" (Hawkins et al 144 emphasis added).

It's not enough to just be physically present in the same room as your child. Your child needs you to be in their consciousness as well, to be engaged in conversations and experiences with him or her.

PROVIDE
This is more than just something that father's should do...it is a sacred duty and responsibility for fathers to provide for their family. When I think of this concept of a father providing for his family I think of the basic necessities of life: shelter, food, protection, clothing, etc. The textbook for my Family class takes it a bit deeper than that. It describes the father's responsibility to provide as assuming "stewardship of meeting children's needs and offering opportunities for their development, as well as dedicating one's time, energy, and resources for the benefit of the next generation" (Hawkins et al 145). This duty for the father to provide for his family does not mean that he should be the sole provider. What it means is that with this aspect of parenting (and all other aspects) the father and mother work together as equal partners to provide for their families with the responsibility of seeing that these needs and opportunities are provided to the children resting upon the father's shoulders.

PROTECT
"The context of preparing a child for the outside world and instilling a child with needed skills and knowledge sets up...another fundamental principle of fathering, to protect a child from harm and also equip him or her to both avoid and manage life challenges" (Hawkins et al 146). One of our basic human needs is to feel protected and it is the sacred duty of a father to provide this sense of protection for his children. I have seen a few instances in the lives of others around me where this role of protector is not being fulfilled and instead, the children need protection from their father. That makes me sad in so many ways and it is unacceptable to the Savior of the World. In Matthew 18:6 we read, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." Fathers, protect your children. Protect their physical bodies as well as their spiritual and emotional bodies. They love you and trust you and need you to fulfill this sacred duty.

The Key for all the Mamas and the Papas

Well, my friends, I have spewed a lot of words in this post. It has taken me three days to complete and there is SO much information that I have had to leave out for the sake of not having it take hours for you to read this post.

However, I feel that there is a key that all of these things hinge on; a key that works for all of the stages in our lives.

"Power in righteousness comes only as we associate ourselves through prayer and sacred living with the powers of heaven" (Hakwins et al 148).

There is power in righteous living: power to make it through the difficult teen years, power to survive dating and the heartbreaks that may come with it, power to become equal partners in your marriage, and power to raise your families in love and righteousness.

It is my prayer that in this world riddled with selfishness, ignorance, pride, and greed, that we will recognize this power that comes from living a righteous life. Righteous living brings hope to the hopeless, love to the unloved, and sunshine in the midst of the storms that engulf you.

Marital Sexuality

6/11/2019

When I started mapping out a plan for the blog posts I would be writing for this project, I did not include the chapter of my textbook that talks about marital sexuality. I didn't include it on purpose...because I'm a scaredy cat when it comes to writing about the topic of sex. I know I shouldn't be, but I am.

However, after pondering about what topic to tackle next and looking at my original game plan for these posts, I realized that before I dive into the post about being mothers and fathers, I should probably include a post that discusses healthy marital sexuality.

And because (you know what's coming next, don't you?)...I CAN DO HARD THINGS, I know that I can tackle this topic respectfully, tastefully, and honestly because it's what I'm supposed to do.

Purposes of Marital Sexuality

As with every post I write, I focus on topics as they pertain in living the gospel of Jesus Christ. I make no apologies in that other than I am sorry if anything I write comes across as offensive to you. It is NEVER my intent to offend anyone. The only intent I have is to share what I have learned in my studies and present that information on my website. It is then up to those who read my posts to decide for themselves if they agree or disagree with what I have said. That is your prerogative and I respect that 100%. With that disclaimer out of the way, let's get started.

"Marital sexuality serves several purposes for both husband and wife as individuals as well as for the couple relationship.

These purposes include becoming one, connecting with God, strengthening the emotional and spiritual bonds in marriage, avoiding temptation, and continuing the generational chain by bringing children into the family" (Hawkins 49).

Becoming One

I talked about this concept of becoming one in my last post, so I won't spend a lot of time with this purpose of marital sexuality. I do want to share a quote from Rabbi Shuley Boteach "identified physical intimacy of a husband and wife as something that symbolizes the tie between God and all of His creations" (Hawkins 49).

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also talked about the oneness that is created by physical intimacy. He said that "sexual union is a welding...in matrimony...[a] physical blending [symbolic of a] larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise...a symbol of total union...of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future, their everything" (Hawkins 49).

Okay, I know I said I wasn't going to spend a ton of time on this purpose, but I found another quote in my reading that sums this purpose up nicely.

"Godly sex is so much more...than merely a physical act; it has a spiritual component... [A] deeper connection [within sexual relations] goes far beyond simply understanding how to overcome sexual dysfunction... It goes way beyond technique and physique. This deeper dimension is experienced when we move past pleasure as a goal and instead seek intimate connection--not just with our bodies but also with our souls."
-T.A. Gardner (Hawkins 50).

Connecting with God

Marital sexuality is a way to connect with God? How is that possible? I feel that Elder Holland sums it up nicely...much more so than I could ever do, so I am going to offer you his wise words of wisdom...

"Sexual intimacy is...symbolic of a union between mortals and deity, between otherwise ordinary and fallible humans uniting for a rare and special moment with God himself and all the powers by which he give life in this wide universe of ours..." (Hawkins 50).

Strengthening Emotional and Spiritual Bonds in Marriage

I know that this has been the case for our marriage and I feel that any marriage can also benefit from the emotional and spiritual bonds that a healthy sexual relationship can bring. I want to share some information from an Islamic point of view because I feel that it truly speaks volumes about this purpose of marital intimacy.

"...one of the benefits of marriage is to obtain peace of mind. ...the pleasure derived from sexual intercourse between a husband and a wife is an example of happiness in the afterlife. The Qur'an states, 'And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)'" -M. Holland (Hawkins 50).

Multiplying and Replenishing the Earth as God has Commanded

This was one of the first commandments given to Adam and Eve while they were in the garden and it remains a commandment for us today. That will look different for each family as each couple turns to God for counsel and guidance in when to have children and how many to have.

From Spencer W. Kimball:

"The union of the sexes, husband and wife...was for the principal purpose of bringing children into the world" (Hawkins 51).

Attitudes that Promote Positive Marital Sexuality

Now that I have spent a little time going over the purposes of marital sexuality (as God has intended), I would like to spend a little time talking about how to have a healthy sexual relationship in your marriage.

This section of my textbook was very interesting and I learned a ton. I hope that I can share with you some things that might be helpful if this is an area in which you are struggling with in your marriage.

1. Sexual interaction is a healthy component of marriage that need not be a source of negative feelings or guilt.

2. Married persons deserve to feel good about their bodies and to view sexual expression as a normal, healthy part of their marriage.

3. A primary component of marital sexuality is giving and receiving pleasure-oriented touching in the context of an intimate, committed, and divinely appointed relationship. As such, it requires relaxation and focus on the other person as well as on one's own pleasure.

4. Sexuality should be expressed in a way that enhances your intimate, marital relationship and bonds you together.

5. Couples should strive to create a "we" relationship, where both partners' sharing and pleasure is important as opposed to one person individually focused on what he or she will get out of the experience. -McCarthy & McCarthy (Hawkins 52).

My biggest takeaway from this section goes right along with everything else I have learned about how to have a successful marriage. It comes down to selfLESSness and that leads us back to charity, the pure love of Christ. If we are being charitable in our interactions with our spouse, it sets the tone for everything in that marriage.

Show your partner affection. Hug. Kiss. Make out a lot. Learn what your partner likes and how he/she recognizes and feels love. Keep the line of communication open and have realistic expectations.

The "Good Enough" Approach to Sex

Now I would like to take a minute to talk about some realistic expectations. Realistically "husbands and wives are not usually at the same level in terms of desire, arousal, or satisfaction" (Hawkins 53). This doesn't mean that something is wrong with either one of you or that your marriage is doomed to failure. It means that you are a normal married couple experiencing things that normal married couples experience.

Let me now share some information with you about what this "good enough" approach to sex looks like:

"The central aim of [this] approach is that husband and wife become emotionally close, erotic friends, who can accept marital sexuality as a variable and flexible experience and not be anxious when sexual interaction does not flow to intercourse."

"In [this] approach, the couple is an 'intimate team' who work together to create relaxation for both, which is a crucial foundation for pleasure and sexual function."

"A realistic expectation [with this approach] is that marital sexual experience for both husbands and wives will be good to very good about 60 to 85 percent of the time."

"[This approach] promotes sex in marriage as playful and even spiritual and also encourages the belief that marital sexuality grows and evolves throughout life. In contrast, the 'always great' approach often portrayed by media and culture results in disappointment, as experiences fail to match high expectations."

-McCarthy and Metz (Hawkins 53)

In Conclusion

I feel that there is an attitude that is prevalent in the world we live in which regards sexual relations as something to do for fun--or something that just brings individual pleasure. However, when we look at things from a gospel perspective, we see that sex is meant to be so much more than that and because of its divine purpose, it should not be treated flippantly or lightly.

As with any topic I write about, I would encourage you to seek out the truth for yourself. The words I write are things that I have pondered and sought for inspiration for my own life, but you have the opportunity to go, to seek, to learn, and to grow for yourself.

A Letter to My Kiddos: Why I Want You to Date

5/28/2019

I have spent the last two blog posts in this Eternal Family series talking about why God-ordained marriage is important, how we can become an eternal family, and how God's plan of happiness relates to and supports the concept of an eternal family.

Hopefully I have been able to paint a clear picture on why God has blessed us with families and how important they are in His plan of His children. I also hope that you have been able to understand why marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and how it provides the ideal setting for family life to begin. (Notice I said "ideal setting". I realize that not every family is able to consist of a husband, wife, and children. The discussion that could revolve around that is for another day.)

For this post on this day, I want to turn to the subject of dating. In this day and technological age, traditional dating is quickly becoming a thing of the past, and that makes me very sad. We have a dating culture "that lacks socially defined norms, rituals, and relationship milestones [that] guide young people toward marriage" (Hawkins, 4).

The concept of traditional dating is in trouble. It is "the most endangered part of the modern context of dating" (Hawkins 12). This leads me to why I chose the title for this blog post. I want my kids to know the importance of dating in their lives. I want them to understand how following "a divinely directed approach to dating and courtship" will help them in their quest to establish and maintain their own eternal family relationships (Hawkins 12).

Why I Want You to Date

Mark and I during our dating era (all 3 weeks of it, lol.)

Kiddos-

While pondering what I wanted to say in this blog post, your cute faces kept popping into my head and I realized that what I want to say in this post, is exactly what I want you all to know about dating and why it is an important stage in your lives.

Although your dad and I didn't date each other for very long before we got engaged, we continued dating through our engagement and throughout our married lives. We realize how important it is for us to continue dating because it provides us with an opportunity to continue to get to know one another, have fun together, and stay close to one another.

For you, dating is something that will prepare you for marriage, not to mention it will be a way for you to develop ideas of what kind of a person you will want to marry. One of the main reasons that the disappearing dating culture is a problem is that it robs you of the important knowledge and experiences that dating can bring to your life. This could lead you to premature exclusive dating or engagement which could be a problem and cause problems later in marriage (Hawkins 12).

Traditional dating offers opportunities for you to have meaningful conversation and dialogue with your dates. It also provides you with "greater self-awareness, greater appreciation of the range of potential partners, and greater preparation for marriage, which [leads to] wiser decision making about a marriage partner and increased confidence in later courtship" (Hawkins 12). That was a lot of words to basically say this...dating will make you more aware of who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go with life.

I mentioned that dating will prepare you for marriage. Maybe you've thought about getting married and have some ideas about what your future spouse will be like. I want to just offer some words of prophetic counsel that will help you as the process of dating leads you to the one you will want to marry.

From Elder David A. Bednar-

He first offers a word of caution: Don't focus on a 'list' of what your perfect soul mate will be like without first realizing that you must match that list as well.

"The 'list' is not for evaluating someone else--the list is for you and what you need to become. And so, if there are three primary characteristics that [you] hope to find in an eternal companion, then those are the three things [you] ought to be working to become. Then [you] will be attractive to someone who has those things. ...You are not on a shopping spree looking for the greatest value with a series of characteristics. You become what you hope your spouse will be and you'll have a greater likelihood of finding that person" (Hawkins 6).

You must work on 'becoming'--on having maturing and growing experiences so that you can be ready for marriage and then be able to commit to that relationship when you have made the decision to marry (Hawkins 6).

Have I convinced you of the importance of dating yet? I hope at the very least, you are feeling a little more confident in your knowledge of why dating is an important step in a relationship.

Maybe you're feeling a little scared or apprehensive about dating and marriage. That's perfectly okay and totally understandable. These are big decisions that you are facing in your life and with every big decision comes a mountain of uncertainty and anxiety. Elder Holland offers some words of advice to help you manage those feelings.

"Do you want capability, safety, and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril" (Hawkins 7).

Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

And so it comes back to this, doesn't it? Here goes Mom again...teaching and talking about Jesus. :) I know that you know how I feel about the Savior and I hope that you also know how much I believe that He is truly the answer to any problem, question, or decision in your life.

"The starting point for becoming ready for marriage is to develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His divine plan for marriage and families" (Hawkins 7).

Dating prepares you for exclusive dating. Exclusive dating prepares you for engagement. Engagement prepares you for marriage and marriage prepares you to live in an eternal marriage relationship. It's a recipe to follow and if you leave an ingredient out, the cookies will just not taste as good as they could.

Now that we've had a little chat about how important dating is, I want to spend just a moment on how to choose your eternal companion when that time comes. It can be a daunting task if you let it, but once again...trust in the Lord and all will be well.

When Faced with "The Big Decision"

It's all about three words... WHEN, WHOM, and HOW.

WHEN
If you are doing all you can do through obedience and faith in the Lord to consistently draw as close to marriage as you are able, when the time is right, you will know (Hawkins 9-10). If the world tells you that you are too young or too old, do not listen. Listen only to the sweet whisperings of the Holy Ghost. He will not lead you astray.

WHOM
I know that Hollywood has romanticized the idea of finding your soul mate, but you have an opportunity to have something even grander than a soul mate. You have an opportunity to become an eternal companion. "While soul mates are found, eternal companions are chosen and made..." (Hawkins 11). Follow the pattern of divine dating that I talked about above and I have no doubt that you will find a companion whom you can learn and grow with.

HOW
It all begins with dating and so I come back to my original request... I want you to date.

I want to leave you with a few more words of advice from Thomas S. Monson.

Because decisions determine destiny...we must look ahead to the type of marriage we want, set a course toward that goal, and then "prepare every needful thing" (Hawkins 16).

I am so proud of you all for the good decisions you have made thus far in your life and I have no doubt that as you stay close to the Savior, He will lead and guide you through the exhilarating and scary world of dating, courtship, and marriage and bless you with the absolute love of your life.

Love- Mom

References:

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

In Your Patience Possess Ye Your Souls

5/24/2019

John 21:19- "In your patience possess ye your souls."

"Possess ye"- preserve, win mastery over.

"Patience"- something that I lack and am constantly trying to work on having.

Anyone else have this problem with patience? Or is it just me?

In my New Testament class, one of the assignments was to choose a Christlike attribute to develop/work on over the seven weeks of the class. As I pondered the many attributes that Christ has that I am severely lacking, the one I felt like I need to work on at this stage of my life is PATIENCE. The dreaded "p" word. Now, how many times have I specifically focused on being more patient? WAY too many to count. But I'm not giving up. No way, no how. I'm going to be patient in the process of learning how to be more patient. :)

Perfectly Patient

Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

As I have studied the life of Christ, specifically looking for how he exemplified the attribute of being patient, I feel that I am seeing familiar stories in a whole new way. I have been able to see how patient the Lord was with those around Him.

How many times did His disciples see Him perform a miracle only to marvel the next time something amazing happened? For example, after Christ fed the 5000 with a few loaves and fishes (Matthew 14:15-21), the disciples just could not believe it when they saw Him walking on the water not even a day later. This happened time after time, miracle after miracle. If I were the Savior, I feel like I would be fed up by this time. "When are you guys going to get it?" type of frustration here. The "throwing up your hands and wanting to throw in the towel and leave" kind of frustration here.

But the Savior, in the way that only the Savior can(and maybe Elder Holland because that guy is amazing), patiently loves His disciples, gently rebukes them when they need a course correction while trying to "get it", and explains things in different ways until they do "get it". What is it, exactly, that He needed them to get? The same thing He needs us to get...that He is the very Son of God, our Savior and Redeemer, and the only One who can stand as our Advocate before God. He wants us to get that it is because of Him that we are able to repent of our sins and be with our families forever. He wants us to get that He asks us to obey certain commandments and do certain things because those are the things that will keep us close to Him and far from Satan.

Just as He patiently waited on His disciples to "get it", He offers that same patient waiting to us. That doesn't mean that He doesn't need to give us a swift kick in the pants sometimes to get us going back in the right direction (AKA cleansing the temple, not once, but twice). But even as He is offering that swift kick, He is patiently waiting until we "get it", even if it takes years...and a million swift kicks in the pants.

Enduring to the End

"The Second Coming" Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

Another part of my studying and pondering about patience made me realize just how important it is to patiently endure to the end. Whether it is enduring to the end of a day, the end of a semester, the end of an illness or challenging life experience, or enduring to the end of my life, that all takes patience. That process of enduring patiently is hard, but it has also brought change and growth in ways that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to experience that change and growth.

"Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls. Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls.
Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most..."
-Dieter F. Uchtdorf ("Continue in Patience," Ensign, May 2010, 59).

Change is hard, and growing and stretching hurts, but I have never gone through a trial and when reaching the other side said, "Well, that was a waste of time." I have sometimes lamented over the fact that going through the trial probably took a lot longer than it needed to because of my lack of patience and humility, but I have never been ungrateful for a growing experience.

Becoming Like He is...AKA "Goals"

I think Elder Uchtdorf summed it up nicely in his talk "Continue in Patience" in the April 2010 General Conference:

"Without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace. ...
...Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can--working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well! ...
Patience is a godly attribute that can heal souls, unlock treasures of knowledge and understanding, and transform ordinary men and women into saints and angels. ..."

"Christ Teaching the People" Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

Patience is a purifying process. I love thinking of it that way. I also love the idea that patience means active waiting and enduring. We live in a world of instant gratification, which is why I think patience is so hard to come by. We really don't have to wait long for anything, unless your internet has a hiccup and is a little slow (first world probs, am I right?). This is why it is so important for us to focus on developing patience because "in your patience possess ye your souls".

They Cannot Be Lost

5/20/2019

Once again, the concept that God is in every single detail of our lives has hit me right in the face this morning and I'm feeling a little lightheaded from the impact, to tell you the truth.

On Sunday, I wrote a "Come, Follow Me" post for my New Testament class that focused on lost things. I referred to three of the Savior's parables that talked about how things (aka people) get lost in this life, but how no one is ever truly lost to the Lord.

As I sat down to put together this second post for my Family class, I realized that it is kind of a continuation of some of the thoughts I shared on Sunday.

I will never be able to deny the existence of God or the way He orchestrates our lives, even and especially when we have no idea that we are being instruments.

Family Relations--To Infinity and Beyond!

Okay, so hopefully Disney doesn't see this post and sue me for using Buzz Lightyear's famous line, but I feel it fits perfectly with what I want to share with you in this post.

In my first "Eternal Families" post, I shared why Eternal Families are important in God's Plan of Salvation. Now I want to share with you how that great plan of salvation (AKA God's Plan of Happiness) "enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave" (paragraph 3, The Family). I will also discuss how temple covenants save families. Are you ready to go on this ride with me and learn how your family can be together forever? Let's do this.

God's Plan of Happiness

Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

This is God's plan of happiness for His children. It is truly a plan for families as it allows families to live together forever in heaven. Through the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ and His victory over death, we have the opportunity to be with our families after this life. Isn't that awesome?

Now, I hear some of you...maybe the family I have is not so great and I don't want to be with them forever. If that's the case, my heart goes out to you and I am crying along with you because it breaks my heart to think of people in that situation. Do you know who else is crying with you and understands perfectly how you feel about your "not-so-wonderful" family? Our Savior and our Heavenly Father. They know, and I promise, you will not be left in the dark. There is room for everyone in this great plan of happiness and if you trust in Them, you will be led to places and people that will fill your life with joy...here and throughout the eternities.

"Before we were born, we lived with God, the Father of our spirits. All [of us] on earth are literally brothers and sisters in His family, and each of us is precious to Him. We lived with Him for eons of time before our mortal birth--learning, choosing, and preparing."
-Weatherford T. Clayton (Clayton, para 3).

Do you understand what this means? We are all part of one great big family and, in the words of Stitch from the movie Lilo and Stitch, "Ohana means Family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten." (Again, with the Disney reference. Maybe I am needing a trip to Disneyland? :) But what that really means is that no matter what your family looks like here on earth, you are part of something much bigger and through your desire to be faithful to God's commandments, your choice to rely upon and utilize the Atonement of Jesus Christ in your life, and your trust in God's plan of happiness, you will find joy and happiness with a forever family. I promise.

When Things Happen

Photo cred: pixabay.com

Life is hard and full of different choices. As part of the plan of happiness, God gave us agency--the ability to make choices for ourselves. Sometimes we use that agency wisely, sometimes...not so much. How grateful I am for the opportunity to repent when my choices are not so great.

As a parent, I can attest to the fact that it is hard to see your child make a choice that you know will lead them to hardship and sorrow. Maybe you have previously made a similar choice and subsequently have experienced the natural consequences that come along with it. Maybe you have seen others make similar choices. Whatever the case may be, when you're a parent and just want what is best for your child, it's hard to see them make choices that will lead them through difficult natural consequences.

“Few family challenges are of more significance and have longer-term implications than when family members fall away from correct principles and eventually become involved in serious transgression” (Hawkins et al, 169).

So where does this leave families in their quest to live together forever? How will that be possible if some family members ultimately choose to not follow the covenant path? We have been taught in the scriptures that "this life...[is] a time to prepare to meet God; a time to prepare for that endless state which has been spoken of us..." (Alma 12:24). If that is truly the case and we need to use this life to prepare to meet God, what will happen to our families if we are not all using this life to make those preparations wisely? Keep reading, my friends...

Temple Covenants Save Families

Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be married in the temple. I had been taught that temple marriage = eternal marriage, and that is what I wanted.

When I met Mark (AKA The Love of My Life), I wanted that eternal marriage even more. I couldn't imagine not having him or our future children in my life forever. Even though I recognized the importance of temple marriage and the covenants we would make there, I did not fully understand just how binding those covenants could be.

After many years of study and prayer, I feel like I have a little better understanding of the power that comes from temple covenants, but I know that I am still only chipping away at the iceberg. I'll tell you something though, it's an iceberg that I'm going to keep chipping away at because my family means EVERYTHING to me, as do the covenants I have made with God in His holy house. Because I care about both so much, I am willing to put forth the effort to expand my knowledge and know what I need to do to keep my end of the bargain. I know God will keep his, because...He's God. It's me, who is a mortal, that I need to worry about.

Now, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I have a love/hate relationship with agency sometimes. Of course, I love it because it gives us the opportunity to choose for ourselves, and it's through choices that we learn and grow. However, I hate letting go of the "control" I have over my children and sending them off to use their own agency. I know, I know. That sounds bad. Maybe it's the control freak in me, but it's the truth.

I think it comes from the idea that I can't stand to see my children hurting, so I don't want them to make choices that will lead them to hurt. But, it comes back to the whole learning and growing thing, right? Sometimes the times in which we learn the most are the times that are most painful. Plus, I know that I'm not the only parent to feel the way that I do.

“Our Heavenly Father knows, far better than any mortal, the pain and sorrow associated with having children who exercise their moral agency to their condemnation rather than exaltation”
(Hawkins et al, 172).

Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

Not only does Heavenly Father understand the pain and sorrow that parents experience when a child makes choices that lead him/her away from God's covenant path, but He has blessed us with prophets and apostles whose words give us hope and more importantly, help us to NOT FREAK OUT AND REMEMBER THAT OUR KIDS ARE STILL AMAZING AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY! :)

“When a seal is put upon the father and mother, it secures their posterity, so that they cannot be lost, but will be saved by virtue of the covenant of their father and mother” -Joseph Smith
(Hawkins et al, 169).

The seal the Prophet Joseph is referring to is the sealing of a husband and wife that can only happen in a temple as it needs to be performed by someone who has been authorized to use the priesthood keys that pertain to sealing things on earth and in heaven. (Those are a lot of words that may be unfamiliar. If you want to know more, follow the links. :)

This is where this post ties in nicely with the post I wrote on Sunday. Just because you feel that your child or loved one is lost because of choices he/she is making, it DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE LOST TO THE LORD. (Sorry for the all caps shouting words, but I just want to get those points across, lol.) He/she is still your child. He/she is still God's child. Those are the things that really matter in this equation.

“The Shepherd will find His sheep. They were His before they were yours—long before He entrusted them to your care; and you cannot begin to love them as He loves them. They have but strayed in ignorance from the Path of Right, and God is merciful to ignorance. Only the fullness of knowledge brings the fullness of accountability. Our Heavenly Father is far more merciful, infinitely more charitable, than even the best of his servants, and His Everlasting Gospel is mightier in power to save than our narrow finite minds can comprehend” -Orson F. Whitney (Hawkins et al, 169-70).

Our Job is to Love

So? What can parents do who feel that a child is lost? Well, for one thing, if those parents are doing their best to keep the covenants they have made in the temple, I promise you, that will go a very long way in the eternities. Again, I don't understand it all, I just know that there is a power in the priesthood sealing of families and there is also power in keeping the covenants you have made with God.

We can also love the crap out of our kiddos. I cannot tell you how much I love these yahoos. I love them on their good days and bad days. I love them whether they're making me laugh or making me cry. I JUST LOVE THEM! SO MUCH! And that's exactly what I need to do. Whatever paths they decide to take in their lives, whatever rocky ridges they decide to cross, my job is to love them.

Sometimes that is much easier said than done, right? I have expectations and hopes and dreams for their lives that may be different than the expectations, hopes, and dreams they have for themselves. But there is instructions in the scriptures and The Family: A Proclamation to the World that can help all parents on the path to love and nurture their children, no matter what direction they choose.

Counsel from the Scriptures:

Counsel to cultivate certain emotions (love unfeigned, patience, and long-suffering):
Mosiah 3:19, D&C 121:41-42
Counsel to avoid emotions such as anger, hate, resentment, envy, and jealousy:
2 Nephi 26:32, 3 Nephi 30:2, Leviticus 19:17-18, Psalm 37:8, Ephesians 4:31

Counsel from The Family Proclamation:

"To create an atmosphere where parents are abiding by the counsel in the Family Proclamation to “love and care for each other and for their children”…to “rear their children in love and righteousness and teach them to love and serve one another” and to honor principles such as “forgiveness, respect, love, and compassion”, requires a meek and lowly heart on the parent’s part" (Hawkins et al, 172).

I just want to leave you with one more quote from a mother who "gets it"--a mother who has been through the trenches and back again. This quote has changed my outlook on the "what if" scenarios about my children's choices that I have created in my mind.

“I don’t think there is a greater influence than one that is fueled by love. I think that God created the family unit as part of the divine plan to have his children return to Him. I don’t think it’s to create a feeling of despair when a loved one strays from the gospel; I think it’s to create a feeling of urgency on our part to help that son or daughter come back—to keep ourselves on high, firm ground, even holy ground, so that we can reach out to one who does not have as firm a footing on gospel ground. Although a connection to God might seem to be broken, a line of communication and love through us remain" (Hawkins et al, 172-73).

"A line of communication and love through us remain." It's our job to love. Just love the crap out of them and be their biggest fans and supporters. The Lord knows exactly where they are and He loves them, every inch of them, and we can too.

Works Cited:
Clayton, W. T., (2017, April). Our Father's Glorious Plan. 187th General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

"Family: A Proclamation to the World." (1995, November). Ensign, 25, p. 102.

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Lost Things

5/19/2019

Have you ever lost something?

Of course you have! What human being has not ever lost something in his or her life?

How does it feel when you lose something?

If you are anything like me, the range of emotions is quite wide. I usually go from annoyance to frustration to a little bit of anger to more annoyance (unless I have found the object by this point) to maybe even a little bit of sadness. But then the magic moment comes. That moment when you find the item that was lost and immediately the annoyance, frustration and anger subside. Sometimes those feelings are even replaced with a little dose of humility and chagrin.

God has things that get lost as well, although because He is perfect, I'm sure He doesn't go through quite the range of emotions that we do. When I say that God has "things" that get lost, I'm really referring to His children. We get lost, and He feels sadness about that. But even though we are lost, in a sense, He still knows exactly where we are. He just has to wait for us to use our agency to find our way back to Him.

In my New Testament studies this week, I studied a lot of parables. Three of them deal with lost things and offer three different ways that we get lost from the path that leads back to God.

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

In Luke 15:4-7, we read the parable of the lost sheep.

"What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lost one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.

I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance."

President David O. McKay (1873-1970), a prophet of the Lord, shared some insights about the three parables that I am sharing today. He talked about how each parable teaches about different ways that the children of God stray away from Him. This is what President McKay said about this parable of the Lost Sheep:

"Rescue of the Lost Lamb" Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

"How did that sheep get lost? He was not rebellious. If you follow the comparison, the lamb was seeking its livelihood in a perfectly legitimate manner, but either stupidly, perhaps unconsciously, it followed the enticement of the field, the prospect of better grass until it got out beyond the fold and was lost.

So we have those in the Church...who wander away from the fold in perfectly legitimate ways. They are seeking success, success in business, success in their professions, and before long they become disinterested in the Church and finally disconnected from the fold." (in Conference Report, April 1945, 120-21, 123).

Photo cred: Pixabay.com

The lamb took his "eyes off the prize", so to speak. He focused his gaze on things other than the Shepherd. Maybe he started by stealing a few glances of the grass on the other side of the fence, which turned into staring hungrily at the grass, which then led to sampling the grass, and before he knew it, he had lost sight of the Shepherd completely.

Elder Joseph B Wirthlin (1917-2008), an Apostle of Jesus Christ, shared another take on this parable and who the lost sheep could represent.

"Some [children of God] are lost because they are different. They feel as though they don't belong. Perhaps because they are different, they find themselves slipping away from the flock. They may look, act, think, and speak differently than those around them and that sometimes causes them to assume they don't fit in. They conclude that they are not needed. ...

...If we only had more compassion for those who are different from us, it would lighten many of the problems and sorrows in the world today. ...

Some are lost because they are weary. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. With all the pressures and demands on our time and the stress we face each day, it's little wonder we get tired. Many feel discouraged because they have not measure up to their potential. Others simply feel too weak to contribute. And so, as the flock moves on, gradually, almost imperceptibly, some fall behind." ("Concern for the One," Ensign, May 2008, 18-19).

Who's been one of these little lambs at one point or another? I have definitely felt a little of both of these "lost lamb scenarios" in my life. But here's the good news. The Good Shepherd, AKA the Savior of the World, knows exactly where we are, at all times. We are never lost to Him and He is always there, waiting for us to call out, just like a little lost lamb cries out to its mother.

We can return to the arms of that Good Shepherd who loves us wholly and completely, no matter where our wanderings have taken us.

The Parable of the Lost Piece of Silver

The Savior continues His teachings of "lost things" in Luke 15:8-10 with the parable of the lost piece of silver.

"Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it?

And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost.

Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth."

Going back to President McKay's insights on these three parables, he describes what the lost coin may represent:

"In this case the thing lost was not in itself responsible. The one who had been trusted with that coin had, through carelessness or neglect, mislaid it or dropped it. ...Our charge is not only coins, but living souls of children, youth, and adults. They are our charges."

Here we see that the coin was lost through negligence on the owner's part. We also see that the woman in the parable represents any one of us who have responsibility to watch over and care for someone else--spiritually and physically. Whether you are a parent, or have stewardship over others through leadership roles, you are charged with being responsible for loving and teaching those whom you have stewardship over. President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008) shared how we should face this responsibility of loving and teaching others:

“There must be warmth in the work of the Lord. There must be friendship. There must be love unfeigned. There must be appreciation and thanks expressed. There must be constant nurturing with the good word of God. All of these are small things, so easy to do, and they make so great a difference." (“There Must Be Messengers,”Ensign, Oct. 1987, 5).

It's about love and friendship, respect and charity. It's about expressing gratitude. As President Hinckley said, these are all small things and easy to do, but they make a huge difference in the lives of those whom are feeling a little lost and unloved.

The Parable of the Prodigal Son

This may be a familiar parable/story for you and it has been analyzed and mentioned many times throughout history. Found in Luke 15:11-32, we learn about a son who demanded that his father give him his inheritance so he could leave and go experience the world. The son went "into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living" (verse 13).

Eventually, he spent his entire inheritance and ended up feeding swine. "He came to himself" (verse 17) and realized his mistakes.

"I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants" (verse 18).

And what did the father do when he saw his son? Did he shun him as "tradition" of the day would have had him do? No. He "had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him" (verse 20).

From Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:

“The tender image of this boy’s anxious, faithful father running to meet him and showering him with kisses is one of the most moving and compassionate scenes in all of holy writ. It tells every child of God, wayward or otherwise, how much God wants us back in the protection of His arms” (“The Other Prodigal,” Ensign, May 2002, 62).

"The Prodigal Son" by Liz Lemon Swindle

"The Prodigal Son" Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

I love the painting on the left. It was painted by Liz Lemon Swindle and it is entitled "The Prodigal Son". I think it beautifully depicts the way that our Heavenly Father feels when we return to Him.

Going back to the words of President David O. McKay--He said that in this parable, the person who was lost became lost because of his own choices.

Does that mean that we're done? We make some bad choices, get lost, and then...that's it? No heaven? No salvation? No exaltation? Absolutely not.

Like the Father in the parable, our Father in Heaven is constantly looking over the horizon, waiting and watching for us to use the agency He gave us to choose to come to Him. And, like the father in the parable, He will run to us, have compassion on us, and celebrate our return.

"The parable of the prodigal son teaches us much about the nature and attributes of our Father in Heaven. Like the father in the parable, God will not control us, keep us from straying, or keep us from making selfish, foolish errors. Yet His love never diminishes. He is so anxious to have us return that He will run to us when we are still “a great way off” (Luke 15:20). He knows us so well that He can recognize our better selves when no one else can. Each of us, male or female, will be able to recognize something of ourselves in each of the sons in the parable.
The parable also teaches us about what the Savior does for us when we turn from sin and return to Him. Through the Atonement, He runs to welcome us home and does not require us to make the trek of repentance alone" (New Testament Student Manual, Chapter 18).

We are Never Truly Lost to the Lord

The Shepherd knows His sheep.

He knows them, loves them, and welcomes them back when they stray.

May we always strive to use our agency to make choices that will lead us back to our Father in Heaven, but...if we mess up, if we make choices that lead us away from Him instead, may we always remember how the Lord feels about things that are lost. He has a plan for their salvation and redemption, and for that, I am truly grateful.

Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

The Eternal Family

5/12/2019

GUYS. Can I just take a minute here and tell you how completely wonderful and amazing God is?

Let me give you the short version...
*Des has a blog/website and loves to post things.
*Des is a wife, the mom of 4 busy children (okay 3 right now who need her attention every day and one who gets prayed for a lot while he is away from us), a part-time college student, has a part-time job, and a part to full time "job" serving with the best group of young women ever.
*Des really wants to keep blogging and sharing some of the cool things she is learning in college, but has zero time to devote to that.
*God says, "How about for this semester you take these two classes and both of those classes will give you the opportunity to blog as an assignment so you can blog AND have it count as school work.
*Des is amazed (again) at how much God knows her and loves her.

An Assignment with a Purpose...

I have already been sharing things that I have been learning from my New Testament class in my "Come Follow Me" series. Now, I get to start sharing some things that I am learning in my Family class, and I am truly excited and terrified all at the same time.

Remember this post (my post about marriage) and this post (my first post about The Family: A Proclamation to the World)? I remember being completely terrified to write those posts because of comments that I may receive. But then I remembered that the only people who really read my posts are maybe my parents and my in-laws and a few close friends, so I probably didn't have anything to worry about, lol. I knew that they would be kind in their comments.

When I wrote those blog posts, I definitely felt inspired to do so and my motto is, "When God asks me to do something, I do it." Well now, once again, God is telling me to do something. Although there is still a little bit of anxiety that is accompanying the task, I am mostly just extremely excited to share with you the things that I have learned and am continuing to learn about God's pattern for families.

And honestly, there is no need for me to be anxious. Because...

The Doctrine of Eternal Families

From the very beginning, God has shown us the importance of families in His great plan of salvation. Here's a quick synopsis of the plan of salvation:

Isn't that the best plan ever? God created that plan for us and as part of that plan, He gave us the opportunity to live in families.

"Families are the basic organizational unit of the eternal realms, and so [God] intends for them also to be the basic unit on earth.
Though earthly families are far from perfect, they give God's children the best chance to be welcomed to the world with the only love on earth that comes close to what we felt in heaven--parental love."
-Henry B. Eyring
("Gathering the Family of God", April 2017 General Conference)

The experiences we can have in our families will prepare us to live with God again someday and live as He lives--in a family unit. One of the things I love most about this doctrine of eternal families is that God didn't just say, "Here. Live in a family and learn how to live like me." He has given us instructions on how to be successful in our families and in the process of learning how to be like Him.

My Family- 2017

Three Pillars- The Creation, The Fall, and The Atonement

Social scientists have recognized that relationships go through stages as they grow, change, and develop. They have described these stages as visionary (the beginning), adversarial (times of disillusionment), and vital (reconciling differences). We can describe these stages in gospel terms as well: the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ (Hawkins et al, 343).

In "Teaching the Doctrine of the Family" by Julie B. Beck, she explains how each of these pillars relate to and are important for eternal families.

"The Creation of the earth provided a place where families could live. God created a man and a woman who were the two essential halves of a family..."

"The Fall provided a way for the family to grow. Adam and Eve were family leaders who chose to have a mortal experience. The Fall made it possible for them to have sons and daughters."

"The Atonement allows for the family to be sealed together eternally. It allows for families to have eternal growth and perfection..."

The more I have studied about how to have success in family life, the more I am drawn to and believe this doctrine of the three pillars to be true. In the doctrine of each of these pillars lies the truths and instruction for us to reach our full potential individually and in our families.

The Creation

From the document, "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", we learn profound truths such as:

We were created by God in His image.
We have Heavenly Parents.
We are literally the spirit offspring of God.
Our spirit creation includes identity as male or female and we have a divine destiny.
We each have great potential to become like God is.

These truths, once you internalize them, can strengthen you beyond what you think is possible. I mean, think about it, we have the opportunity to become as God is! Isn't that an amazing promise? The great writer C.S. Lewis once said:

"The command Be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. He is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were "gods" and He is going to make good His words.

If we let Him--for we can prevent Him, if we choose...The process will be long and in parts very painful, but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said." (Hawkins et al, 344).

"If we let Him". I love that phrase. We have so much potential in us, and God can help us reach that potential as individuals and in our families, but we must turn to Him and allow Him to change us.

"The Lord Created All Things" Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

The Fall

"Adam and Eve in the Garden" Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

"The Fall of Adam and Eve allowed the Lord's plan for marriages and family to continue forward by making it possible for Adam and Eve to 'have an increase' as they added children to their family" (Hawkins et al, 344).

I admire our first parents, especially our beautiful Mother Eve. When Satan presented her with the opportunity to partake of the fruit, she knew she was at a crossroads. She did not just partake of the fruit without putting some serious thought, and dare I say, prayer, into that decision.

"And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it became pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make her wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and also gave unto her husband with her, and he did eat." -Moses 4:12

The Fall was necessary for us to learn and grow--on our own and in families. Without that opportunity for growth, we would not be here.

"Adam feel that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy." -2 Nephi 2:25

That joy--true joy and happiness--"is most likely to be achieved when [family life is] founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ" (Family, paragraph 7).

The Atonement

The doctrine of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the most important of all the doctrines of God.

"Not only does the Atonement of Jesus Christ make forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of our bodies, and eternal family relationships possible, but the Savior is also the very embodiment of the ways of living and being by which we are to live our lives.
There is no other way or means by which individuals, couples, families, and communities, or even nations may be saved" (Hawkins et al, 345).

Our Savior. Our Redeemer. Our Champion. He has made it possible for us to live together as families for eternity! Isn't that the most amazing news ever?

Maybe you are reading those words and thinking, "I want my family to be together forever! How do I do that?" I will tell you how...temple marriage. Making covenants with your spouse and with the Savior in a temple of God.

Then it's all a matter of keeping those temple covenants and following the Savior in good times and in bad. Maybe this seems like He's asking too much--to follow His commandments for the rest of your life. But remember, it was He who bled from every pore and died for you, so asking you to keep your covenants with Him for the rest of your life sounds like a pretty small price to pay, doesn't it?

"Jesus Suffers in the Garden of Gethsemane" Photo cred: churchofjesuschrist.org

That was a lot of words...

You're right. It took me a lot of words to get to this point of the post, so I won't say too many more. I just want to leave you with a couple of really powerful quotes that tell us WHY this doctrine of Eternal Families and the doctrinal pillars that support it are so important.

"If we continue with present trends, we can expect to have more emotionally disturbed young people, more divorce, more depression, and more suicide" -Ezra T. Benson

This was a prophetic statement given in 1992. Umm...are we seeing that it has come true today? Absolutely! We see huge amounts of emotional imbalances in our young people, divorce rates are still high, there is more depression and anxiety, and I don't have to tell you that the rate of suicides has increased by an alarming rate. What are the present trends the prophet was talking about? Disregard to God's commandments and principles that have been established since the beginning of time.

We need to return to the "God-ordained fundamentals that will ensure love, stability, and happiness in our homes." -Ezra T. Benson

The Time is Now.

While it is true that I am writing these blog posts about eternal families to fulfill a school assignment, more importantly, I am writing them to fulfill an obligation I have as a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ. Because I have made covenants with Him in His holy temple, it is one of my responsibilities to stand up for His moral laws and principles that the world at large is trying to move away from. My goal is to do that in the most loving way possible, trusting that His Spirit will help me to get the message across in an educated, humble, and kind manner.

Thank you for enduring this lengthy post. I leave you now with a message regarding eternal families from Elder L. Tom Perry, an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Works Cited:

Beck, J. B. (2011, March). Teaching the Doctrine of the Family. Ensign, 41(3), 12-17.

Benson, E. T. (1992, July). Salvation: A Family Affair. Ensign, 22(7), 1-3.

"Family: A Proclamation to the World." (1995, November). Ensign, 25, p. 102.

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

<<Previous

Perspective

The Savior is the Key

Why are Repentance and Forgiveness so Important?

Repentance

Forgiveness

Prayer Works

Making Adjustments

Rearing Children in Love and Righteousness

Setting Limits with Room for Compromise

Latitude: Making Choices Within the Limits

Conclusion

Mother Dearest

Effective Mothering

Love: The Foundation of Effective Mothering

Daddy Dearest

Five Fundamental Principles of Fathering

The Key for all the Mamas and the Papas

Purposes of Marital Sexuality

Becoming One

Connecting with God

Strengthening Emotional and Spiritual Bonds in Marriage

Multiplying and Replenishing the Earth as God has Commanded

Attitudes that Promote Positive Marital Sexuality

The "Good Enough" Approach to Sex

In Conclusion

Why I Want You to Date

When Faced with "The Big Decision"

Perfectly Patient

Enduring to the End

Becoming Like He is...AKA "Goals"

Family Relations--To Infinity and Beyond!

God's Plan of Happiness

When Things Happen

Temple Covenants Save Families

Our Job is to Love

Counsel from the Scriptures:

Counsel from The Family Proclamation:

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

The Parable of the Lost Piece of Silver

The Parable of the Prodigal Son

We are Never Truly Lost to the Lord

An Assignment with a Purpose...

The Doctrine of Eternal Families

Three Pillars- The Creation, The Fall, and The Atonement

The Creation

The Fall

The Atonement

That was a lot of words...

The Time is Now.

Desirae Ogden

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